Friday, February 27, 2009

SCWC SD09 Topic Contest: Rain

Because of storm approaching {gasp!} San Diego, MSG quickly settled on "rain" as the topic of the 250-word Topic Contest. Any homonym of 'rain' qualified. I don't general spend (or waste) my effort, time or creative juice on these contests. But this one leaked into my bilge and wouldn't let itself go unwritten. Here it is:


SCWC SD09 Topic Contest
Topic: Rain (or reign, rein, homonyms)

"Over Me"
by Christopher P. Simmons

He should’ve been ready. He’d seen it coming. Over his left shoulder, a dry-land hurricane bore down on him. He twisted the throttle harder. While in a gas station, walking past repellant wipes, the vertical tsunami hit. Too late, he dove out.

He donned his rubber duck gear, but the cold monsoon had already funneled down the drain of his turtleneck. The torrent drowned the sound of his iron steed, but not his will to get home, nor the memory that precipitated this power dive.

Over the thunder of bikes on the dry and dusty road, he heard her voice on a telephone say "separation." A decade of drizzle, shower and storms had eroded her now-leaking dam.

The Amazonian forest humidity fogged his visor. Riding blind, the sky wept with him. Highway became canal in the inundation. His wake at typhoon speed made him hydroplane.

"All those moments, lost in time, like tears…" he quoted.

Resigned, the leather knight let go, letting his steed run, unbridled. He dared the storm to kill him. Begged it. But it only let him wallow in sorrow; His queen had abdicated.

He slogged on, layers of leather and cotton became sponge, boots squished when he shifted, handlebar grips became cannelloni.

Defiant, he crashed through the leading crest of the front, and fled, daring not to stop. Cold and exhausted, a toll booth forced his brake lights. The attendant sweltered in the Ante-Diluvian humidity.

"What’s the temperature out there?"

"74."

He stripped to the waist. As if born into a new skin, he swaddled himself in one last dry t-shirt. Thirsting for anything but water, he drank in the dry air as he rode off.


Pop Quiz:

  • How many times did I NOT say 'rain'?
  • What song do you have stuck in your head now?
  • Why did I almost allude to the band "Our Lady, Peace"?
  • Do you want to read The Winner?

Sharpening my chisel

The SCWC San Diego 09 rang out as a resounding success! Only one disaster worth reporting. Although agents were everywhere, I didn't pitch to any. I had another, higher priority.

"To Suck Less" -- MSG
I had spent the days since SCWC LA08 re-writing the T7S sequel. I had to see if I had improved the writing or not. Taking to heart, head and pen the critiques of Trai, Laura, Matt/Lorelei & the group, I had tried to "improve my craft." In that, I had to remove the need for a prequel, and I had to capture the reader with Judas' plight. Could I make the most hated man in history the object of the reader's sympathy in only a few paragraphs? Could I instill the priest with enough guilt to replicate his shooting a pregnat woman? I had to find out.

I submitted my 20-page sample to "Advanced Submission." Chaos smiled on me, and Laura Taylor had an opening. Her (positive) reaction at LA08 and referral to an honest agent taught me quickly that (to appropriate Michale Steven Gregory) "my writing needed to suck less."

"Overall, this book will be compelling! Bravo!"
At SD09, Laura's response rated my rewrite VERY positive. She recognized the effort I had put into it, and lauded the result, with a nod to known flaws. I later took it to her "Read & Critique" session. I wish that I had a video of her reading my sample to the group. Where I read quickly, compressing for time, Laura read slowly. Not even legato, but largo! Where I wrote frantic action, she transformed the prose into an indictment, trial, sentencing and execution of Judas. I heard guilt and agony that I never had before. Her pace so tormenting to poor Judas, that calling it "fingernails on chalkboard" proved too kind. I described it as "awakening next to a woman whose arm impedes your escape, so you saw it off slowly to avoid waking her." When I asked if they felt sympathy for Judas, the majority nodded. I ratcheted up the "Success-o-meter" a click or two.

"Bloody Pirates!"
Next, I took a new chapter, starring Calucci and Annie, to Matt Pallamary's Pirate session. His Princess of Darkness, Lorelei didn't attend, but "Me, Usually" Mary dropped herself into second seat. For this session, I had pre-printed a 5 page sample. I used all of my document processing skill to condense out 7 pages to 5. As I started the sample on Chapter 3, I simply removed references to Chapter 1 & 2, which would have borne explaining, had they not read them. My time came, and I read...

UTTER DISASTER!
Titanic? Pompeii? Atlantis? HA! Glitches compared to my debacle!
90% of the issues raised would have been answered had they read the previous chapters. Some worthwhile critique of what remained distilled out, but on the whole, the session leached out a toxic swill. Marla Miller sat in, and she observed (paraphrasing) "You cheated yourself. You didn't get critique of your actual writing... but I think you got me. I like it." I made two notations on the inside of my skull.
  1. Don't distill your writing for readings. Read your five pages, and shut up. If they are left hanging... good! heh heh
  2. This book is not paced for readings. I had tried to give them a good place to start, and a good place to end. But the chapters are too long to squish into 5 pages. Let it go! Like Indy reaching for Grail, wise counsel will save me next time.
"One shot, One Kill?"
Fortunately, this debacle was merely a pirate session. It wasn't a pitch. Wasn't a contest. Wasn't "my chance to blow*" so I took JCX to another slaughterhouse: Andrew Peterson's Read & Critique. Because his book, First to Kill stars a sniper, I chose to read my "flying bullet" chapter. Again, my reading pace careened a bit too quickly. But I restrained myself and stopped reading without resolving the scene. The feedback was good, useful.

The funny thing is that as I read it, I could see things I would change, based solely on what I'd learned from SD09. Adverbs, tenses, POVs. What seemed good before, now needed sanding. Andrew referred to "improving your craft", and I suddenly saw writing as analogous to woodworking (at which I suck, btw) Carving, inlaying, finishing are skills which improve with practice. I saw writing (and re-writing) as carving the same pattern over and over again on a new piece, perhaps a set of chairs. The latter pieces will probably have better carvings, more delicate inlays, smoother finish than the earlier ones.

The Learning
  • I learned more of what I had yet to learn.
  • I learned that 3 people will have 4 opinions.
  • I learned that writing books is really a team effort, involving the editors, the critique groups, maybe even the agent and publisher. Stephen King may not need the team. We do.
Applying the next coat
I have 7 months until SCWC-LA09. I realize much of what I need to learn. And apply... like a coat shellac on freshly carved, filled, sanded wood. The next one will be better. And the next one...


*Eminem - Lose Yourself

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Off to the Conference!!! San Diego, here I come...

Just a quick note to anyone reading to say this:
  • I'm going to Southern Cal Writer's Conference 23, San Diego in, well, 12 hours.
  • I got A LOT done on the re-write. I ripped through to the end of Book I (yes, it's gotta be a trilogy, at least), and next, I have to iterate back. But, I did what I set out to do. I removed Abby and Lucci, and replaced them each with someone else, a wee bit familiar.
  • I'm getting my first 20 pages critiqued at the conference. I know by whom, but shant say. I expect that he/she will notice improvement. Near flawless proofreading, except for my penchant to misuse, abuse, subjugate, and obfuscate commas.
  • I have excerpted out my 5 pages for the Pirate/Rogue sessions. They are dynamite!
  • I hope to see a bunch of SCWCLA08 there: Trish, Jeff, Lorelei, Josh, Brandon, Stacey & Gloria, Sharmyn, Jan (And the WHALE! We want the whale).
  • I got all my docs in a row. I'm ready!
If yer going, find me! If yer not see ya when I get back.